INSIDE THE CUBICLE: THE BOOK
Conference calls are funny. They really are. If you look at them the way Dave does, from the INSIDE. So, that is his goal, to help you go INSIDE. Inside the mindset of people at work. Inside the decisions they make about food, about clothing choices, about words they say. You see, while everyone is trying to be really good at the jobs they were hired to do, they are battling all of these other things all day long.
This book may freak you out. Because the observations within it will make you question whether or not Dave has been hiding within your office – that’s how universal these situations are. Understanding these real issues is a critical component of morale and it will certainly help you be more productive, improve your communication and allow you more time to excel in your job – Dave guarantees it.
I’m talking about the real stuff we encounter every day: our obsession with wearing denim to work, the joy of finding brownies on the break room table, or sneaking to one’s desk when getting to work late. This book addresses the things everyone inside a cubicle is thinking about but never really talks about.
read this book if any of these statements sounds familiar :
An Excerpt From Inside the Cubicle
Birthdays Make Us Act Like Whos
Birthday celebrations are full of secret service covert operations. Let’s go INSIDE…
Betty is in charge of getting cards for everyone’s birthday. She has to hide that card from the birthday boy—there is no way he is going to make visual contact with that Hallmark treasure. Because he has no way of knowing that it’s his birthday and he might get a card—that is TOP SECRET information.
Betty hides it in the special purple file folder and sneaks past the birthday boy’s desk (“nothing to see here”) to get the signing process started.
Even the decoration of the most-of-a-cube is a big secret. They wait until the birthday boy leaves the office, then the decorating committee comes out of nowhere with streamers, tape, balloons, and helium tanks. And these committees love the “happy birthday confetti”—they throw glittery red-and-blue “Happys” and “Birthdays” all over the place (which are IMPOSSIBLE to clean up). There is no doubt that the birthday boy will find a hidden “Birthday” in seven months.
The birthday card lands on Jamie’s desk. She treats it the same way she treated the yearbook back in high school. She reads what everybody else wrote first. And on this occasion, the group did NOT care to send its very best. They are just mailing it in. There are four “happy b-days” and five “have a good ones.” The reason is simple—there is no free food associated with this birthday yet.
BUT, at a predetermined time, the group gathers back in the break room and forms a perimeter much like the Whos did around their Christmas tree in Whoville. The only difference between this group and the Whos is that they usually don’t hold hands.
Then there is a stare down. Will there be singing? Is someone gonna get the song started? Suddenly, a type A salesman who is craving some sugar starts up the most awful rendition of “Happy Birthday” you have ever heard. The group gets through it and everybody gets cake. It’s truly a happy birthday.
First, make sure there is a committee that does the decorating. Second, make sure there is a list of birthdays so no one is forgotten (yes, a birthday can suddenly be a morale destroyer). Third, if there is a gift, and you are funding via the chip-in, make it a small amount. Don’t make people feel uncomfortable comparing what they spent on a coworker to what they spent on their sweet Aunt Rose. Fourth, do not mess up the cake. People might say they like carrot cake, but they don’t like it nearly as much as they like chocolate cake. Do NOT go rogue—chocolate cake plus butter cream icing is a guaranteed winner for all.